Since my life is in the best position that it's likely going to be at this point, today seemed like a good day for this. Because I wouldn't have ever made it here if I'd given up 21 months ago. And I can't say that I never thought about it. I can't say that I never had days where I just couldn't get up and do anything. I did. We all do. It's just something that happens. I can't say I was never depressed. I can't say I never thought it would ever get any better. Because I didn't. I just thought I'd be stuck in this rut. This pain filled way of life forever. And I would have without every person who's stood by me and those who've walked out on me.
I'm not going to make this long, and I'm not giving anyone a lecture on how to live their life. I'm just putting it out there what happened to and is happening to me.
In short, 21 months ago I began getting constant headaches which turned out to be migraines. I've been through 3 neurologists, which doesn't sound like a lot, but if you have migraines and you've been to a neurologist, you know that you have to spend at least 2-3 months with one before you can move on. The reasoning for that is that many medications take at least 5-6 weeks to truly show any kind of change in your condition, in my case that was migraines.
So here I am, 21 months and 8 days later, still without a cure. But this time around, things are different. Because for some absolutely amazing reason I have the one thing that anyone in my position would die without: hope.
It seems strange that one word could really hold so much power in it. But it does. And my hope came from a lot of different things. A few of those things, were people. I'd be absolutely nowhere without my mother, father and brother. They have been the greatest support I could have ever asked for. I also wouldn't be anywhere without my best friend, whom you all know as Popcorn and my best friend/boyfriend, whom you all know as Octodad. These five people have been the ones that I could count on, no matter what. They were there when it was rough and they were there when it was almost normal.
To this day I could not possibly imagine my course in life had they been missing.
Hope is something I've had a falling out with and something I've been reunited with.
Hope is carrying me and the weight of everything on its shoulders and I am and I will forever be indebted.
To anyone who has ever had a rough moment in their life and maybe it hasn't stopped, I can't promise you that it's ever going to stop, but I can promise you that it will get better. And that's all I can promise you. There's really only cures for few select things in life. If you were lucky enough to get one, I wish you nothing but the best and I hope your happiness continues.
But if you're like me, and you're not so lucky, have hope. Do not give up.
"There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more."