YOUR FACE!

Is ugly. Just kidding, I don't know you. You're probably really super attractive. Have fun with that.

So I meant to write some super awesome actually important somewhat kind of post earlier today, but it just didn't have the heart and soul that I was looking for. And by heart and soul I mean crazy ridiculous use of words that are not words and SUPER DRAMATIC CAPITALIZATION. boom.

Tomorrow I'M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE TO NARNIA!! And I will get awesome piggy back rides from Aslan and THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. except be jealous. SUPER JEALOUS.

So, I'm using that word a lot. Oh well. Anyways, guess who's super amazing hotty hotness sexy guy? M. SHADOWS.

That's right, you've walked right into...wait for it.........................

THE TOP HOT/SUPER GORGEOUS AMAZINGLY SEXY VOICED METAL SINGERS

YES.

So, I'd make this a countdown, but I don't have an exact number, so let's just wing it.

RANDOM NUMBA TIME!!!!!!!!!

2. Corey Taylor

SO. MUCH. HOTNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God, where do I begin. Not only is this guy SUPER ATTRACTIVE, his voice is one of the greatest things I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. He can scream the shit out of your ears and have you begging for more. Acclaimed singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour and newcome author, Taylor is obviously going places. He's been to a lot of places too. Reading, PA was one of them in January. HIS HOTNESS IS UNBEARABLE IN PERSON. From the growls of Pulse Of The Maggots to the smooth depth of Bother and the ice cold chilling voice in Omega, this dude is beyond just being a metal god. He's got one hell of a voice and one hell of a personality paired with one hell of a smokin hot face. I could listen to hours of this guy.

3. Ivan Moody

HOW HOT IS HE?!?! Man, there's just something about great arms, aviators and tattoos that just does it for me. What can I say? I loves me a badass guy. Not to be confused with a "bad boy" which does absolutely nothing for me. If you happen to be wearing a sweet leather jacket? I'm so putty in your hands. The velvety smooth voice that can break off or give way to throttling screams is one of a kind. Been neglecting your ears recently? Did you like Bad Company's "Bad Company?" Turn up the volume and prepare for some eargasms. That's so not a word. THIS POST IS A WIN! Being super attractive, now that's just a bonus.

4. Phil Labonte.

SO BADASS IT'S WORTH HYPERVENTILATING OVER. Yes ladies, reach for that brown lunch bag and get ready to scream your girly heads off because this guy plays to win. Do you see the veins popping out of his arm?!?! I swear, this's gotta be my type. That or I'm a metal fangirl extremist. Maybe both. But if we mean business, this is our guy. Showing a daunting soft side (or as soft as metal gets) with Forever In Your Hands and Two Weeks or just throwing his entire energy into crazy growls and screams in Six and The Air That I Breathe, this vocal range knows no limits. Nor does this hotness.

AND FINALLY

1. M. Shadows

*drool* FOREVER. oh.My.GOD. There is no single possible way to try and put this hotness into words. Now keep in mind, I had to pick ONE picture. Which I couldn't, so I picked two.

AHHHH COULD HE BE ANY CUTER?!?! Despite the fact that he's amazingly hotter than the sun and its inhabitants, he's possibly the sweetest guy in the world. But come on, those eyes, the arms, the body, the face, THE DIMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dear lord this is the greatest looking guy in the universe. And on top of all that, there's his voice. OH. DEAR. GOD. Where to begin!? It's amazinger than amazing. It's better than the best. It's greater than the greatest. It's pretty much perfection. Even in the dog days (which NEVER existed) when he'd never heard of vocal coaching, this guy was amazing. The heartbreaking emotion in Warmness on the Soul, I wish he was singing to me. It feels like he is. Then the throaty growls of Second Heartbeat. The melodic soul in Seize The Day. The chilling echoes of Brompton Cocktail. The blood boiling rage in God Hates Us and the tear jerking beauty of Fiction. This is the God of Metal Gods. This is perfection at its finest. THIS IS THE HOTTEST GUY IN THE WORLD.

So did I get any of yours? Is there someone I missed? Don't worry, someday I'm going to make a post of just hot guys in general. But I'll be going to sleep happy having been able to sit and pick from billions of pictures of Corey Taylor to M. Shadows. BEST. DAY. EVER.

 BADASS

Hilarious

A-FREAKIN-DORABLE

aaaaaaaaand now my fangirl picture freak show is over and we can all resume our totally average lives.