Friday, September 2, 2011


I'm mature, I know. So today I was supposed to go food shopping at Acme for my mom because she's been working lots of double shifts this week and we have no food in our house. WE'RE OUT OF BREAD. I was obviously going to die if something didn't happen soon. But instead of buying anything that we really needed or that would last us the week, I just bought the supplies I would need to made s'mores. BECAUSE S'MORES ARE FOR CHAMPIONS! You obviously wouldn't know.

So I've been thinking recently about how the average girl acts. This is because I have just been thrown back into the lovely world of Junior Year high school. Woo. Anyways, being surrounded by selfish, demanding, belittling, capricious girls has made me wonder what I've actually prepared my brother for when it comes to girls. When I hear my guy friends talk about Disney Channel (SATAN'S CHANNEL) and whatnot, my response is usually, "What the fuck do you mean, you know all the words to High School Musical 2? What the fuck is that anyways?!?!" And they usually reply, "My sister watches it!" Which does not make any sense whatsoever, but let's continue.

There are very few things that I have in common with a typical teenage girl. However, there are definitely things I HAVE prepared him for. Such as:

ridiculously long showers
lots of time getting ready
having a strong emotional attachment to animals
fighting for animal rights
becoming a vegetarian for three weeks
tripping...over EVERYTHING
sucking at sports
having no upper body strength
losing thumb wars
being weird
liking shiny things
putting stickers on face
trying a new makeup look and looking like a deranged clown
smelling like fruit
loving fruit
loving yoga
loving jewelery
spilling things
dropping things
obsessing over being ecofriendly
talking ridiculously fast
collecting stuffed animals unintentionally
constantly painting nails
shopping taking longer than an hour
buying way too many clothes/shoes
dancing embarrassingly
belting out favorite songs

And that's about it. You can read my other post about important things that I haven't really set a standard for. But this is what I have set the standard for. Hey, it's longer than I thought it'd be.

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