Sunday, February 26, 2012


So today it was rainy and as when it is rainy, and it was the best kind of rain, I wear my snow boots when I go outside for anything because unlike everyone else in the world, I have common sense and I actually enjoy my other shoes sans mud and rain decor. But whenever I go out, there's always that one person. The one who's destined to make everyone else feel bad about everything they've ever accomplished in life. You know who I'm talking about. This person has been otherwise referred to as "that guy" and "that guy" still doubles as "that girl" but no one says "that girl" because it's not as catchy.

ANYWAYS. So I had to run to the store with my mom to get the things. Quit point on my height. I am short. However, not so short that I can't ride the good rides, because I made damn sure of that when I was growing.

So this person walks up to me and looks at my boots and then at me, smacking their lips obnoxiously because of what I can only presume was the most disgusting chewing gum in the world because of the look on their face. This person goes, "HEY, are those your boots?"

I would like to address the fact that this person, who has obviously been staring at me, with the boots ON MY FEET and then proceeds to open with that line. I was just blown away by the stupidity. NO these are the boots I stole from a homeless person, MY boots are in the car. Asshole.

"They ugly."

I was again, shocked. SHOCKED. WHO DOES THIS?!?! Who says things like this to random strangers who just ran into the store to buy ONE thing! ONE. That's not even addressing the absolute horrid grammatical errors in that phrase that DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A VERB. Articulation. It's all I ask of people. ONE THING and they stabbed it in the heart with a little dagger until it bled out on the ground with a gasp.

Needless to say, I was obviously more than words angry with this person. So, they had it coming. I exploded.


This person was taken aback. I was taken aback. The death of my little grammar friend obviously took a piece of me with it. The chocolate chips, which were the ONLY reason I entered the store in the first place, flew out of my hands in rage and landed somewhere in the next isle. Then the store got really quiet. And I waited. I was daring the person to say something, ANYTHING back.

"You ruuuudddeee."

I just walked out. WITHOUT my chocolate chips.

As I left, it was like the rain understood my rage. It hailed down in freezing pelts the moment after I got back in the car. It was singing me a song of deep anger and hatred. I usually hate rain.

It always comes with humidity and heavy wetness and everything else disgusting in this world. It's like the sloths of people rejoice with the rain and exit their homes for their natural habitat.

But today it felt appropriate.

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