Tomatoes

Ahhh soo my lovelies, let's talk. There was a rant. The next day. I swear. But I decided not posting it was the best option. So I didn't. Copy?

But it's more than a month later and I'm happy to say things have been resolved. Quite nicely. To say the least.

Alrighty. So here's the low down. Remember that last post? With the teenage normalcy and complications? Yeah, me too. That was awful. Sorry about that. It wasn't cool.

But so that guy I was talking about? Hmm remember Octodad? That guy that I ruined everything with because I'm awful at life? He was that guy. What a surprise.

But nevertheless, such has since been renewed. No, everything in my life is still pretty crazy and hectic and I probably don't have the room that I needed last year. But I made some. Because some things you can't just let pass twice. So I didn't.

Girls. Guys. Whomever or whatever you are. LISTEN UP.

That thing or person that you want? GO FOR IT. Right now. Get up and go get it!

I spent many an hour pondering the repercussions on acting on something where I would not know the outcome until it happened. And guess what? It was worth it. It payed off. I absolutely DO NOT regret it. And neither does my boyfriend ;)

Because guess what? When every choice is planned out and every action anticipated, it's boring and it's not life. And it's never going to be life. So give up on that ideal.

Life is about unpredictability. I'm not saying go jump off a bridge because hey, just because other people haven't survived doesn't mean that you won't. No. That's dumb.

But that thing that you've been wanting to say or that thing you've been wanting to do? It's worth the risk. Because looking back and going "Man I wish I'd done this..." is the worst feeling in the world.

So to prove to you that it works, here's what happened.

I spent almost every night on the phone with Octodad, telling him everything and nothing. And always just wanting to blurt out that I still had more than enough feelings for him. Because I never really got over him. Even though I broke up with him. Because I didn't break up with him because I stopped liking him. I just wasn't in the position to be the best girlfriend I could be or that he deserved. But now I was willing so much to try to be.

So one night, I started to say it, but I stopped, because I was scared. I'd never been in such a place of vulnerability before. I'd avoided being in that position my entire life. But when he asked what I was going to say, I decided to stop running from it. So I told him. And I knew there'd be complications. But I had to let him know.

And guess what? Those feelings weren't imaginary. Those sparks weren't all in my head. They were 100% real AND mutual.

So we both cleared up some stuff. And a few days later made confirmed it all. And so it is.

And can I set something else straight? Just because you broke up with someone once doesn't mean it can't work again.

I actually feel like it's kinda better. Because you already know all the kinks and how the other person reacts and what buttons NOT to push. It's like the first run was a beta test and now you've got the real thing.

In short, everything is cleared up on my end. Everything is going as great as it's going to get until my health clears up and I've got the best guy in the world until that day comes.

So my homies, peace out.

Now it's your turn.