Monday, June 6, 2011



So I apparently have followers in Germany, which is pretty dang cool considering I'm pretty much a nobody even in real life, so MY GERMAN FRIENDS ROCK!!!!!!!! Seriously though, you're really awesome and I appreciate it. Not that I care any less about my common folk back home, but I'm sorry you'll never be as cool as the Germans. If you're Jewish I'm really sorry about that comment.

Anyways so I understand why all feral cat mothers and other mother figure type creatures (hell even including humans) are so protective of their kittens, meeses (baby meese [I DON'T CARE IF IT'S "MOOSE"]), babies etc. The way I figured this out is because twice a day, every day, I take my bunnies out for an our each time so they can get exercise, pets and do their crazy jumps and play with their toys. Whilst sitting there with Olivia in my arms that ugly cat that I hate that I told you about named Gloria just waltzes right up on our porch (where BunnyLand is set up) like she owns the place. I quickly put Olivia down behind me and moved Oliver behind me as well. Then I yelled and charged towards said cat. Needless to say I was pretty much willing to stab that kitty in the eyes if I protected my bunnies from harm. I also threw a stick at her. But it was tiny and it missed and served its purpose of scaring her away.

Not to say that I don't think cats, dogs, etc. aren't cute, but ever since I saw that cat eat that baby bird I will no longer ever want a pet that is not an herbivore.

Also, I've decided that I'm going to start hosting night long Bunny Raves. I feel like I should trademark that before someone else decides to and if any of you steal my BR trademark I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND CUT YOU.

Today I'm pretty sure I looked like I just escaped from a mental institute and robbed some girl that was obviously taller than me because her clothes fit weird on me and I was nervously glancing around. So what happened was today I was supposed to go meet my English tutor for our final tutoring session so that I could be done with English for the year. So about five minutes before I would have to leave if I was walking my father informs me that no, he can't drive me to the library. This is bad.

This gives me about five minutes to go find shorts that are long enough to be seen underneath my long shirt (I was wearing pants because the air conditioning was freezing in our house.) Now of course all of said needed shorts are either not clean (and by not clean I mean so dirty that they could pass for something I stole from a homeless person) or they're somewhere in the washer. So I just throw on shorts that in seconds are consumed by my obnoxious shirt and am faced with the decision of whether in the next thirty seconds I could find another shirt or whether I wanted to just go for that "no pants" look. Instead of choosing I just tied an awkward knot in my shirt which showed some of my stomach and instead of feeling self conscious or worrying about being thought of as a whore I threw on my sunglasses, grabbed my backpack and freaking RAN to the library located half an hour away. When I left it was 2:40. I had to be there by 3. You can see my dilemma.

So (with the amazing help of my favorite running music Hollywood Undead) I miraculously made it to the library at 2:58. I felt proud of my 18 minute mile considering I haven't exercised in three months. That doesn't mean that I didn't arrive at the library an air sucking sweaty mess with shifty eyes and labored breathing. Especially considering I was running so fast that I ran smack into the "pull" door that I thought in my haste was a "push" door. Needless to say, the librarians and occupants all thought I was running from the police or medics. I smoothed my hair down, even though I knew there was no saving it, and sat down at my usual table to wait. By 3:15 I was nervous, and looked around frantically. I constantly rearranged my books and straightened my papers.

I tried texting my brother or mother to find out if someone could tell me if I'd gotten the time wrong or if my tutor had called or emailed saying he would be late. Unfortunately he hadn't and my mother wasn't answering me. By 3:30 I was starting to think that I wasn't supposed to be there UNTIL 3:30 and had arrived a half hour early. So I waited for ten minutes. By that time three librarians had asked me if I needed help with something, why I was there (I love how this was asked to me, the 16 year old student and not that loud snoring hobo that's chillin in the corner with a newspaper over his face) and if I needed to make a phone call.

So as I saw the next librarian get up to harass me, I stood up and walked out, feeling stupid and awkward. How dare my tutor stand me up! I was also hurt, because this was the first time I'd been stood up in my whole life and it was emotionally upsetting to me, mostly because it was done by a teacher, someone who's supposed to support you and be there for you ON TIME. I even thought I saw his car pull in as I walked away and after arguing out loud with myself (that got a LOT of stares) I decided to turn around and go see if it was truly my teacher. I mean I'd waited this long, if he was going to be there then I wasn't going to make another trip tomorrow to drop off papers and books.

So I awkwardly shuffled back into the library and since I'm short I had to go through that spiny gate thing to fully see if he was sitting at one of the many desks. He wasn't and now everyone was staring at me trying to figure out why I'd walked back in and what the hell I was looking for and not finding. So I shamefully and angrily put on my sunglasses and again walked out. It was like being stood up twice in less than ten minutes! It was horrible. I put on Avenged Sevenfold's Waking The Fallen and let M. Shadows' voice soothe my hurt soul.

And now it was hotter outside than when I'd first ran to the library and my thighs were rubbing up against each other with every step which was ridiculously uncomfortable and people in cars kept yelling things at me as they zoomed past. They could obviously see that I had earphones in and sunglasses on so I obviously could not hear what they were saying. WHAT WERE THEY SAYING?!?! I'll never know.

Today my bunnies were really excited and started having happy seizures. Just kidding, they were binkies. What are binkies? They are the chewy things that you give to your baby otherwise known as pacifiers. Just kidding, I'm talking about bunny binkies. Just as weird sounding, but totally different in meaning. Bunny Binkies are expressions of joy that your bunny(ies) will express by running around quickly and simultaneously jumping in the air and twisting their bodies. AKA the cutest seizures in the world.

Except Olivia doesn't seem to be aware that while binkying she can get hurt or hurt Ollie and has multiple times smashed into the side of BunnyLand and kept going or accidentally kicked/landed on Ollie's face. He kinda acts like nothing happened though, so maybe it doesn't hurt? I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure I'd be upset if one of my friends got excited and was running and jumping around and happened to kick me in the face. Someone'd be getting cut. Just kidding, I don't really cut people. Most of the time. Just kidding I'd bite them, REALLY HARD.  I'm not kidding.

So I think I'm going to make The Miracle Worker 2, except it's going to be about a small boy with polio and an eyepatch. I'm going to cure him of it. IT'S GONNA BE FREAKING AWESOME. Stay tuned for the first picture/story.

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