Saturday, June 4, 2011

Guess what sexy singles in the greater Philadelphia region I DON'T WANT TO MEET, TALK OR CHAT WITH YOU SO LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Although to those obviously sexy people who read my blog, you're pretty awesome and I'd love to meet, talk or chat with you anytime ;)

Now that I've released that angst, hey what's up? I'm doing pretty good. I bought nail polish that smells like sun screen so I feel pretty accomplished. I also had another bad run in with Special Olympics. So about a few years ago I was rather sick and tired of them calling us because I'm sorry but we're not exactly rich. We're barely less poor than you. So anyways I picked up the phone and proceeded to scream "WE DON'T WANT ANY!" to about three seconds later be answered by someone going "h-h-hello?" I proceeded to hang up and feel extremely terrible about myself for the next few weeks because I'd screamed at the Special Olympics. I'm definitely going to hell for that. And I got into another argument with them a few days ago because they would NOT take no for an answer. The conversation ended with "But mam we're only asking for eight cents a day" "I TOLD YOU WE CAN'T AFFORD THAT SO LEAVE US ALONE!" 

Now I'm positive that I'm going to hell. I've also refused to ever pick up our house phone ever again. Or answer the door. ...Don't ask.

Anyways so this past week I've been pretty excited cause my class dance (sophomores) is next week. So I've been mentally preparing myself to make a complete and utter fool of myself on the dance floor. I have it in my blood to dance well but by God there is certainly something that is blocking me from getting access to it. It's like I walk onto the dance floor and I'm like "okay let's just kinda shuffle around and maybe jump up and down a little" and instead I end up raising the roof. Yeah. 

I'd draw a picture of what I look like dancing but as you have had to have noticed, my drawing capabilities are of those of a five year old. Hell five year olds probably draw better than me. I'm not great with staying inside the lines. Anyways that's not the point the point is that my brain doesn't really have a filter for good and bad ideas. It's kinda just like an idea pops into my head and I'm like "I don't know, maybe I shouldn't..." and then two seconds later it happens anyway. 

Like yelling at the Special Olympics. That's where having an idea filter would have been very very helpful. And maybe I wouldn't be going to hell right now. But hell is depressing so I'm going to talk about strawberries. Why? Because strawberries are the fruit equivalent of waffles to me. So they're pretty high up there on the scale of awesome foods. 

Bananas are pretty awesome too and pineapples. I'm really hungry right now. Does that happen to you too? You start talking about food and then your stomach is like "STOP BEING A FOOD NAZI AND FEED ME GRAWWRRR" grawwrrr is obviously the noise your stomach makes when it's hungry, duh. Grawwrrr is also a fairly common woodland creature that lives in the Netherlands. 

Speaking of the Netherlands, dolls are still really freaky. Their eyes are like little soul eaters. One time my brother thought it'd be really funny to get my a doll for my birthday as a joke. That doll ended up getting run over on the blue route. I felt no remorse. 

Anyways now that you all think I'm a sociopathic homicidal person let's talk about cats. And I don't mean any regular cats, I mean PARTY CAT.

Party cat is the magical kitty that lives in my backyard. He's a regular cat except he has a unicorn horn and looks completely different depending on what holiday or event it is. There's Party Cat, Birthday Cat, Easter Cat, Elf Cat, Turkey Cat, Patriotic Cat, Flower Cat and many many more. I will be putting a picture of the latest Party Cat up on the site soon and they are custom made so send me a request and I'll get it out as soon as I can. 

I feel like it's super weird that I never doubted how to spell the word "banana" until Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl came out. Then I'll start and be like "B-A-N...A-N-A-N-A DAMMIT THAT'S TOO MANY NA'S"

Well that's it for me today. Don't lick the windows while I'm gone. 

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