Saturday, June 4, 2011


Ahhh so MegaMind was like the best movie ever!!! I watched it like six thousand times like REWIND!!!!!! Ahh the hyperness that comes with 11 pm posts, gotta love it.

So the other thing you gotta love is that awkward time between 9 and 10 pm where your body's all  "dude I don't know, it's kinda late to be reacting that strongly, let's just take a break" and so for the next hour you watch the most suspenseful show ever and something dramatic happens and in your head you're like "DUDE! YOU CAN'T DO THAT??!?!?! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!" But in reality you're just hugging a pillow really tightly to your chest and slightly drooling. Attractive. And then like ten minutes later during the commercial for Miracle Whip you finally freak out like "OH MY GOD WTF?!!?!?" And everyone's like "dude that happened like twenty minutes ago what are you doing??" and you're like "pshh well OBVIOUSLY I'm just making sure that everyone knew that something dramatic didn't just happen, duh. And obviously I was right so just - oh hey look the show it's on the screen." "but dude what were you say-" "SHUT UP IT WAS NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!" And then everyone's all scared of you just because you're SLIGHTLY foaming at the mouth and possibly growling a little

Or maybe that was just my stomach. But anyways I can't help it if I get the munchies, so deal. So apparently "the munchies" is a term for when people are high and they just get severely hungry. I wish someone had told me that earlier. ALTHOUGH it does explain the horrified look I got from this group of people I was talking to when I was pondering aloud how the children in Africa dealt with having the munchies 24/7. I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE HIGH I SWEAR!!! So now I think those people think I hate children in Africa and that's totally not true. I love children in Africa! I do hate, however, children in Uzbekistan but that's only because I can NEVER find that country on a map and when I can't find things I either hate them or act like they just don't exist.  AFRICA! I BEEN TO AFRICA! AFRICA! I SAW A SNAKE!

So anyways I've realized recently that it's like REALLY hard to stay focused on school work when you're home alone and the interwebz and On Demand programs are calling to you. Like recently I've started homebound schooling (for medical reasons, don't worry I'm not least I think so.) and I got to the library like twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays and spend exactly 1hr and 15mins learning English and Gov't. And the rest of my days I'm supposed to spend four hours a day teaching myself things. And let me tell you, I am a terrible teacher. Cause I'll be like "the conjugated form of tener in the imperfect is...OH MY GOD WE GOT A NEW EMAIL!!!!!!!!!" and like ten minutes later I start again, "the imperfect yo form of ser is....OH MY GOD GLEE IS ON DEMAND!!!" and then like an hour later it's lunch time and that's another hour. So you see my dilemma.

So don't you just love it when you're watching really super scary intense shows like The Haunted and you're home alone and all of a sudden your cell phone goes off and you scream really loud and fall off the couch?? Me too. For example:

"the Manns family had been experiencing paranormal activity and decided to call in an investigative scene. This is footage of that investigation. *door creaks as the team enters and they begin to set up their equipment* the team feels the temperature of the room significantly drop and suddenly a distant giggling is heard from the upstairs and SEIZE THE DAY OR DIE REGRETTING

ME: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD WHAT JUST... oh it's mom *heart can stop its palpitations* 

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I die a little each time she calls me. 

You know I think it's like really weird that The Haunted comes on Animal Planet. Like don't get me wrong it's a great channel and a great show but I would expect that show to be on Sci-Fi or whatever channel the other ghost shows come on. You know what a great AP show is? The Monster Inside Me. Ever since I watched an episode down the shore I've been hooked. And now everytime someone I know has some weird disease I'm like "You should totally be on The Monster Inside Me!!" and then it turns out that they have like Cancer or something and I'm like "You should totally not go on that show. Cancer's not a monster, you'd be the most boring episode ever. There's even like a cure for you, god! What's wrong with you!? Why can't your disease be exciting like everyone else?!?!" 

Just kidding kids, cancer's a serious disease and should not be taken lightly. It's also not boring. But all I'm saying is it would be a horrible episode. Anyways since I've got some mystery disease I just realized today I was like "I should totally be on The Monster Inside Me!!! Except I don't want to be the person that has the horrible disease, I kinda just want to be the main story that they never end up figuring out because the second case that comes on is like really serious and like cancerous worms that can only be cured within the first 6 hours or the person dies. And then I could totally give my shout out to my mom and my best friends and my brother and be on my jolly way while the other person dies.The end." 

Sounds like the best episode ever to me. Just saying. 

So Mothers Day is coming up and my mom is like THE HARDEST person ever to buy for because she waits until the day before Mothers Day to decide that she's still not sure what she wants but if we want to make her breakfast and take her out to dinner that'd be enough. Yeah, make reservations on the day before Mothers Day, thanks mom. But anyways I will be posting a short special post in a shout out to my own mother dearest in the form of a song. I will be rapping, so be prepared for my homie G gangsta status to blow you away with my 9mm that I secretly have on the small of my back and the razorblades that I'm going to store in my weave so BACK UP OFF ME BITCH. 

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